In theory, I love the day we set the clocks back an hour. I get an extra hour of rest and when I wake up, it’s brighter than it has been in weeks. The first glimpses of standard time are bright and cheery.
But lo! It is not so bright and cheery. For those of us who suffer from depression, more darkness outside is a frightening thing. For three months out of the year, it is dark when I leave for work and often dark when I come home as well. Three months of life in perpetual darkness.
The “best” part? How anxious I get anticipating the three months of darkness. See, it’s actually cyclical and self-feeding.
“Oh no, seasonal depressive tendencies are coming.”
“Oh no, now I’m anxious about them.”
“Oh no, now I can’t sleep because I’m anxious. And being hit with depression. Hurray.”
And on. And on. And on.
I’ve been learning to cope now for a while, and I have some good people, counselors, and coping mechanisms to help. Music is helping me reshape my story. I will get through this and so will many, many people around the world.
Just know that, for many of us, the extra hour of sleep is totally not worth giving up precious evening light all winter long.
Allie’s full piece on Depression is brilliant. Please read it and share it, but know that there is some language if you’re sensitive to that.